RE: Nightstand for sale

Admin Note: You all sure had a LOT to say about Jenniferion's nightstand. Your responses put our submission daemon down for three days and made the For Sale page completely unusable for anybody not looking for commentary on Jenniferion's incredibly haunted nightstand. In the interest of enabling everybody to be heard AND keeping the For Sale page usable we are consolidating all responses to the ad here on one page. Our condolences to Jenniferion.

Jenn. Ma'am. Some questions: The orbs. There's something wrong with you. You're filthy. You're diseased. You're patient zero. You have worms in your soul. How have your neighbors not called the city code enforcement on you. I don't actually have any questions for you I just want you to know that there's something gravely wrong with that night stand, your house, and you personally. Get well soon.-Sappho II

"might need a wipedown" Jenn nobody has yet invented a banishing powerful enough for whatever filth you've been lovingly cultivating in your house.

At the risk of overstating this, your nighstand looks kind of scuzzy.-Hyperion the Supreme

Dear Jenniferion,

I'm writing this with all the love I can gather. You need help. I'm begging--nay--IMPLORING you to open a window, vacuum, play some music, light a candle, some incense, ANYTHING. Looking at that photo literally gags me. I've never in my life seen an infestation like this in a home. It might be even beyond your power to cleanse at this point. Please call an exterminator.

Best regards, Octaviolius


Jenn, give me a call when you get a chance, and we'll make a date for me to come help you get your house in order. You don't have to live like this; there are people who love you. I mean it.-The Necromancer, Assmodius

Quick question Jenn are you operating a Chaos frat? If not you will be soon.

Sick dragon, Jenn

Sick dragon, Jenn

Sick dragon, Jenn

girl your vibes are absolutely rancid i can't believe you live like this. you're like the tripolar opposite to Love/Light and Hate/Dark. yucky disgusting.

Sick dragon, Jenn

Hey Jenn I just wanted to let you know that your nightstand looks like a very positive influence on your health and well-being. You should consider moving it closer to your bed. It could do you a lot of good.-Wrathmont

they're literally moving fast enough to be seen on camera Jenn that's disgusting what is going on in your house?????

Do NOT make any attempt to translocate that nightstand in its current condition. It would scatter the orbs throughout any of the 7-dimensional space it passes through on the way to its destination and cause a level-17 cataclysm. Granted I live on the west coast and therefore don't have a dog in this fight but if your neighbors were to band together and bind you it would be for your own good along with the good of the entire northeast.

Does anybody else think we might just have happened across the cause of Pittsburgh's sinkhole problem?-Arcane Howard

You all need to learn to live and let live. I have never in my life seen so many people so quick to tear a woman down.

hi jenn if you don't mind im Dennis Hieromanteion a third-generation spirit exterminator ive been in the business thirty years and id be happy to come by and talk with you about your orb infestation you can send me an email if you want to see testimonials you can search yelp for DH & Sons Spirit Control LLC.

Truly I cannot imagine how you could come to have a place or object so haunted as this photo suggests. Do you not ever cleanse before or after working? Ever tone a little bit? Don't you ever even vacuum? They should preserve your house and body as a scientific oddity. There's real money to be made here.