WIZARD SEEKING WIZARD

SUBJECT: HELP PLEASE REMOVE A CURSE

I need urgent help lifting a somewhat embarrassing curse placed upon me by my girlfriend. Some backstory: I made the mistake of dating a powerful witch and I know it's frowned upon to be in an inter-ability relationship (I'm nonmagickal) but I really thought she was special. Anyway after we moved in together she started nagging me about working harder at my job and chores and how I dress and whatever and suddenly nothing's good enough for her and I tried telling her we just have different priorities and expectations but she wouldn't hear logic on it. So anyway the bitch decided to curse me and swap my anus with my penis. My penis is now in between my ass cheeks. I can't sit on literally anything and, at the risk of giving TMI, it feels really fucking weird to walk around. This is all without even going into how having my anus in the front complicates using the restroom. I'm completely defenseless against this curse and I'm scared I'll be like this for ever. Please help.